Bored of Supervisors - 11/18/08 - With Video!

Any good Southerner knows how to commit violence with politeness. So, I suppose it’s only natural that I have an affinity for politics, where the surest sign that an insult is coming are the words: “With all due respect.”

I felt right at home watching the compliment-dipped daggers fly at Tuesday’s Board of Supervisors meeting. Here’s my creative interpretation of what happened (these are not actual quotes):

Main characters: Board President Aaron Peskin and Supervisor Sean Elsbernd. Both are highly respected political tacticians who are generally chill at meetings.

The setup: A few hours before the meeting started, several last-minute amendments to two ordinances that are part of the Eastern Neighborhoods Plan were circulated to supervisors.

Elsbernd: I move to continue these two items for one week so I can have a chance to review the new amendments.

Peskin: Don’t be such a nerd. I assure you, they are fine. I’ll explain each one to you right now.

Elsbernd: Why won’t you grant the continuance? The Eastern Neighborhoods Plan has been 10 years in the making. Surely one more week won’t hurt.

Peskin: Respectfully, I need to ram these changes through today.

Elsbernd: While I appreciate the sentiment of the distinguished supervisor from District 3, if you won’t continue the whole Eastern Neighborhoods Plan, I’ll move to pluck out the amendments and vote on them separately.

Peskin: If you do that, honorable supervisor, I’ll just move to add the amendments back into the plan.

Elsbernd: And, with all due respect, I’ll move to pluck them out, again. You can just call me Senator Sean, because I’m fixin' to filibuster.

Bevan Dufty: This fight is making the board look like a bunch of idiots.

[Note: Supervisor Gerardo Sandoval was acting as chairman of the board while Peskin participated in the debate. Sandoval, a recently elected Superior Court judge, ran the meeting with all the dignity of a homecoming-decorations committee, chewing gum the entire time and repeatedly asking, “What do you guys want to do now?”]

Peskin: Supervisor Elsbernd, whose hair smells terrific, is just trying to delay the vote for some devious reason.

Elsbernd: And Supervisor Peskin, who, as we all know, looks great in a Speedo, is trying to push these amendments through for some devious reason.

After about an hour of platitudes and paranoia, the board voted to pass the Eastern Neighborhoods Plan and all the amendments they had just received.

I must admit I was taken aback by Elsbernd’s feisty willingness to challenge the force of nature that is Peskin. I certainly hope this is not the last we’ve seen of a newly energized Elsbernd, because the new class of supervisors promises to be about as exciting as oatmeal Wednesdays at a nunnery. You know, with all due respect.

STUFF THAT PASSED:

1. Supervisor McGoldrick's ordinance that will levy a $100 fee per year (or $3 per square foot - whichever is more) on people whose driveway takes up sidewalk space. Supervisors Alioto-Pier, Chu and Elsbernd voted no. (Check it out: Download Driveway Assessment.)

2. Supervisor McGoldrick's ordinance codifying last year's Prop K policy statement limiting advertising on City property to July 1, 2007 levels. Supervisors Alioto-Pier, Chu, Dufty, and Elsbernd voted no. (Here: Download New Advertising Ban.)

3. Supervisor Ammiano's ordinance extablishing a Voting Systems Task Force whose nine Board-appointed members will review voting machine vendors, data collection methods and make recommendations as to how we can know voting results within..oh, I don't know...a week or so of an election. Makes one wonder what the Elections Commission is supposed to be doing. Supervisors Alioto-Pier, Chu, Elsbernd and Peskin voted no. (Download Voting Task Force.)

4. And a very special shout out to one of the nicest people I know - Kathryn Hill.  Kathryn's altogether reasonable plea to Supervisor Alioto-Pier for closed captioning at public video events (think Film Night in the Park) led to an ordinance that passed unanimously. Congratulations, Kathryn! Yay! (Download Closed Captioning Ordinance.)

5. Supervisor Maxwell's ordinance requiring new power plants have to secured a Conditional Use permit from the Planning Department. Maxwell pointed out that a CU is required for ATM machines, so this is only proper. It passed unanimously. (Download Conditional Use of Power Plants.)

STUFF THAT FAILED:

1. Supervisor Alioto-Pier's ordinance that would have allowed landlords to pass-trough 50% of post-2002 increased water costs to tenenats. Remember that this was the ordinance the had landlords threatening to oppose the Prop A hospital bonds if it didn't pass. Supervisors Ammiano, Daly, Maxwell, McGoldrick, Mirkarimi, Peskin and Sandoval voted no. (Download Water Bill Pass Through.)

QUOTE OF THE MEETING:

 “I like to read things before I vote on them.”

— Supervisor Sean Elsbernd, explaining his desire to continue two Eastern Neighborhoods Plan ordinances for one meeting because he had just received amendments to those ordinances a few hours before the vote.

Many thanks to CUIP for posting the video.

-Melissa

Comments

[sfmike]

I may be wrong, but I think one of the amendments failed to pass because there was a 5-5 vote. It was a specially crafted item having something to do with the Mission Theatre that Sandoval had slipped in the night before in what was a transparently sleazy move. By chance, I happened to be the only person in the audience in the Board chambers when all this was going down, and I completely agree with you about Sandoval's undignified moderating. He was embarrassing. I'd also be a bit more sympathetic to Elsbernd's case if he and his perjuring aide, Olivia Scanlon, hadn't just lied their asses off at the Ethics Committee inquisition of Tony Hall.

Speaking of sleaze, I'm elated that Alioto-Pier's latest shafting of the poor and middle-class was voted down, particularly since my landlords have already sent out rent increases for next year that included the water pass-through. I guess the greedy jerks somehow thought it was a done deal.

[brittney]

First line? Brilliant.

[generic]

YEAH, BAYBEE!!!!!1! The SM Snark Machine is back!

Woot!

[Michael]

Mel - you should post a warning (something flashing, rd and noisy) before "exposing" us to Peskin in his Speedo. I can seriously feel my lunch coming up.

[Kathryn Hill]

Hi! I've been so behind in my blog reading lately, and am seeing this now. Thanks for the shout out! I believe San Francisco is the first city to pass such a law, and I hope other cities will follow suit.