Constant Readers,
I'm on my way to Alabama right now to visit my family and, in fact, am in the Dallas Airport on a layover. As a former bartender myself (law school ain't free, people!) I'm always nice to the mixologist.
Right now, I'm being served by Chuck, who is hotter than his name implies, but not a 10, either. Apparently, I'm the only one brave enough to eat at the Irish Pub in Dallas so we're chatting. Here's the actual conversation we just had:
Me: Do you know much about San Francisco?
Chuck: Just that it's supposed to be pretty there. And gay. Pretty gay, hahah! (Cracking himself up.)
Me (theatrically unamused): You got a problem with gay people?
Chuck (sensing a tip is in the balance): No...it's just...that I heard there are lots of them in San Francisco.
Me: What if there are lots of them everywhere?
Chuck: Uh-oh. (Pretends to look under the bar.)
Me: Do you know anything about politics there?
Chuck: Y'all have the Latin guy, right?
Me: Latin? (Who says that?) I think you confusing us with Los Angeles. They are the pretty ones and we are the smart ones. Gavin Newsom is our Mayor.
Chuck: Ohhhhhh the one with Chazz hair. Didn't he have sex with someone he wasn't supposed to...
Me: Haven't we all? And yes, he did. But what is Chazz hair?! (I hate myself for being so giddy at this point.)
Chuck: Eighties....movie... jerk. More wine?
Me: Hells yeah. He's running for governor, you know. He tweeted his announcement the other day. You know, on Twitter.
Chuck: (Stops putting glassed in the dishwasher.) Man, that is so gay.
--Melissa
How droll. You know, as a fellow former Social Pharmacist, I feel like standards have slipped lately. There oughta be some sort of academy to culture the modern "glorified 7-11 clerk" bartender into a polished, shiny servant of the esteemed libations that make the airport a remote version of home-sweet-home.
Alternatively, dumb-asses should give discounts.
-Bass
Posted by: Sebastian | April 22, 2009 at 17:11
Sounds like a true intellectual. Hmmm, well any watering hellhole in a storm I suppose.
Posted by: Mr. K | April 22, 2009 at 17:27
I dunno. Sometimes I give this kind of remark a pass.
In the hinterlands I've noticed the "That Is So Gay" remark often functions as a stand-in for "twee" or "excessively feminine," but the speaker doesn't have the cultural vocabulary to nail it. If you take the comment literally, he certainly couldn't have meant, "Golly, that so resembles a lesbian aesthetic."
And if he's guilty of associating Gavin with male homosexuality, well, he wouldn't be the first. Until a certain Mrs. Tourk came on the scene, everyone (and I mean everyone) was whispering about Gavin's swish-factor. And that was BEFORE the gay marriage issue.
Until a certain Mrs. Tourk came on the scene, everyone (and I mean everyone) was whispering about Gavin's swish-factor.
Posted by: generic | April 22, 2009 at 18:07
I have no idea why that sentence repeated.
Posted by: generic | April 22, 2009 at 18:08
God, you just can't make up that dialogue ...
Posted by: Paul Hogarth | April 22, 2009 at 22:51
Chuck sounds wonderful. By Chazz hair, do you think he's referring to Chazz Palminteri? And he's absolutely correct. Announcing your run for California governor on Twitter was WAY gay, I just hadn't thought of it in quite those terms before.
Posted by: sfmike | April 23, 2009 at 16:44
Why be insulted by Chuck laughing at his own suggestion that San Francisco is a "gay" city? That Armistead Maupin caricature of The City is so outdated that it IS laughable. God, why are some San Franciscans so condescending about their personal acceptance of homosexuals?
Here's the deal: rigid political correctness hasn't changed the fact that SF has more than its fair share of hate crimes.
http://www.examiner.com/a-1058982~S_F__hate_crimes_top_state.html
Yeah, hate crimes are under reported in other cities. But they still happen in your town. Personal experience has taught me that SF bigots make up for their repressed homophobia with sheer brutality. There is an extremely violent, anti-social, irrational backlash against your self-congratulatory narrative. Ignoring it is dangerous.
We have home-grown bigots in the Bay Area, too. They're not all bussed-in from Alabama.
Lighten the hell up. Your choice to live in an arbitrary geographic region doesn’t make you any kind of authority on gays.
Posted by: Steve-O | April 29, 2009 at 18:04
@Steve-O - I wasn't insulted. Hence the "theatrics" - I was playing with him to see what he'd say. I'm not at all rigidly politically correct (and would have had a rough childhood in GA if I were).
Thank you for writing.
Posted by: Melissa Griffin | April 29, 2009 at 21:10