How can you miss something called a "Death Match"? - UPDATE

UPDATE: BETH WON!!!

I mean [straightening skirt and composing self] of course she did. I like to think I helped by (a) saving a seat that resulted in a fight with a friend of one of the judges, (b) yelling at her father for not cheering loudly enough, and (c) physically assaulting her mother, Joanne, when she tried to politely clap for the other finalist. (In my defense, it was an applause-o-meter decision.)

It's the little things, ya know?

Anyway, Beth is in Reno at some weird WT Santa thing, so when she gets back, I assume she'll write all about the contest. Just know that she won. Handily.

-Melissa

Constant Readers,

Tonight I'll be at the Literary Death Match watching my BFF Beth Spotswood dash the dreams of other hopeful candidates. Actually, "watching" isn't really the right word...more like yelling "WOOOOOO!!!" and "YEAH!!!!" and high-five-ing strangers like a frat boy in a sports bar.

Come on down and join the fun! Here are the details: 

Where: The Elbo Room, 647 Valencia (map)
When: Doors, 6:30, show 7:15
Cost: FREE

-Melissa

Comments

[Mousqueton]

Let me tell you something Mel; that girl is a pure breed!!!
Congratulations to both!!

[generic]

Is it possible that the two young ladies who hosted the event might stumble upon this blog?
If so, I'd like a word wit dem bitches about brevity.

[Melissa Griffin]

Generic, you were there?!?!?!?
You should have introduced yourself! Beth and Brock and I and love you and think you're brilliant and want to buy you drinks and french fries!

[Henrique Wolfe]

So does anyone else other than the same 6 people, (or the random person you upset) contribute to your blog? Every time I come looking for the insight of an intelligent woman I read either trite pedantic details of a writer trying to carve an interesting niche in the most boring places possible, or the writing of someone who thinks she is the missing cast member of "Sex in the City". I ask in earnest, that you try to critique political events and help your readers see what effects them and what they can do, or you try acting. Please stop trying to do both as you will simultaneously fall short in either area. There is a tendency for 30 somethings in San Francisco thinking that living an extended adolescence is somehow cute and charming. It really isn't that charming or very cute. Odds are you'll delete this post, so no bother. This is another reader you have lost not so sweet Melissa, Beth however is fascinating to read and thank you for turning me onto her

[Melissa Griffin]

Henrique,

I'm so sorry my site disappoints you, though I don't think the Sex and the City reference is warranted since I don't really discuss my personal life here.

It may sadden you to know that I neither started nor maintain this website in an effort to please you. I do it for me. I don't get paid per click and therefore don't care whether you read me or not. If you want a blog that gives you a "critique [of] political events" that helps "readers see what effects (sic) them and what they can do" - in a way that this site falls short, I suggest you write your own. You'll learn more about traffic and commenters (to answer your other question) that way.

I am happy to have helped you discover Bethy, though. She is truly a gem.

[Janet C]

Melissa, I think Henrique Wolfe wants a date with you.

[Matt Stewart]

Sweetie Melissa who I think I'm in love with,

I love the way you dissect the points made by trolls and then, piece-by-piece, intellectually annihilate them with extreme prejudice. It's very lawyerly of you. When I feed trolls cyanide, I rely on more juvenile methods. I'm not beneath sinking to their level, especially considering it is just as effective as your approach, takes less effort, is more fun, and I'm not as smart as you. For instance,

Henrique,

I saw the homemade porn video you made. I tried selling it but the potential buyers puked in my face. I think your third nipple and the three-legged goat were too much.