SAN FRANCISCO, Cal. (AP) – There will be one more singer in the massive chorus of people who don’t follow San Francisco politics, as Benjamin Wachs has retired from writing SF Gov InAction.
Wachs left political commentary the same way he entered, with an insightful and hilarious essay last Monday.
Brock Keeling of SFist was in mourning. “Without Wachs, now I'll only have Eskenazi left at China Basin to teach me about local and state politics." Even my best friend, Beth Spotswood, is upset. “The passing of Benjamin Wachs' snark from the lexicon of local political observation leaves a void I haven't experienced since Moesha went off the air.”
Wachs was a writer’s writer, and for those of us who cover local politics, a constant source of information and belly laughs. Who among us hasn’t looked at a meeting agenda and been tempted to write, as Wachs once did, “Budget stuff,” and then move on?
The Chronicle’s Metro Editor Audrey Cooper said anyone in the know was an ardent fan. “You can't really appreciate the genius of that column unless you're one of the few who spends your work week listening to government meetings. Ben's entries were always spit-on-your-computer-screen funny. Seriously. I have coffee stains around my monitor.”
You’re not the only one, sister.
In December 2008, when Mistermayor first announced that we are all sitting like Thelma being driven off a financial cliff by a meltdown named Louise, Wachs explained thusly:
Come on down to San Francisco, boys and girls, where the deals are hot, hot, HOT!
That's right, I'm Crraaaaaaazy Gavin Newsom, and this week everything must go!
We have an ENORMOUS deficit looming up after the holidays and our entire inventory must be cleared out! No deal too big, no savings too small!
See the price tag on this vintage substance abuse treatment center? I'm slashing it in HALF!
How about this neighborhood policing program? Yesterday it connected troubled neighborhoods with law enforcement for $1 million - starting today, it will have to do it for just $250,000 ! What an incredible deal!
And folks, if you come on down to City Hall, we're giving pink slips away! That's right, just giving them away! Why? Because I'm Crraaaaaaaazy Gavin! I'd have to be crazy to think that keeping my enormous PR machine intact is more important than keeping MUNI operators! But that's the kind of crazy I am!
You want my furniture? I'll sell you my furniture! Just make the check out to "Craaaaazy Gavin Newsom for Governor," and you'll walk out with the desk where I first decided to stop talking to other elected officials!
Other gems:
o I think all of San Francisco needs a safe word that Chris Daly will recognize. [Link]
o Look, I know city committee meetings aren't "fun" - there are no DJs, VJs, or BJs. Nobody dances 'till they can't dance no more. (Well, Tom Ammiano). Nobody tells funny jokes. (Well, Tom Ammiano). Nobody who's been in movies stands up and calls legislation bullshit. (Well, Tom Ammiano.) [Link]
o Huh - if you Google “Gavin Newsom” and “crazy ass” you get 465 hits. [Link]
o It’s a busy, schitzo week at City Hall: city government will spend half the meetings trying to get things done, and the other half trying to gnaw its own leg off. It’s what they’re good at. [Link]
o (Imagining progressive supes living together) Needless to say, Daly is the neat freak who keeps yelling at everyone to wash their dishes immediately after use. Avalos is the one who thinks he's funny -- but he's not. Campos is the poet trying to make it big in the city with his new book of verse, titled The Due Process. Chiu is always trying to come up with crazy get-rich-quick schemes; and Ross Mirkarimi dreams of someday going into politics and being Ross Mirkarimi. [Link]
o The reason there are no jokes that begin "a budget analyst walks into a bar" is because when you factor in the chance of not being funny, amortized over the life of the joke, it's just not worth the risk. [Link]
Then there are the stinging insights:
* Then they debate Chris Daly’s proposal on whether to change the zoo into an animal sanctuary. Quick question: if the city can’t run a zoo, what makes us think we can run an animal sanctuary? I’m just asking. [Link]
* (On whether the Board listens to public comment) They do listen: they listen to the people in their districts, they listen to the people who contribute money, they listen to the activists they know personally, and they listen to power brokers who they think have ties to voters whose minds aren't already made up. They do not listen to eloquent speeches yelled at them, one after the other, in two minute increments, by people whose minds never change. [Link]
* Side note: Could we get a report on how much overtime departments are assigning in order to complete overtime reports? I'm just curious. [Link]
* BENJAMIN (in a fictitious dialogue with Gavin Newsom): "You're the children's book version of an Ayn Rand character. You know that?"
NEWSOM: "Yep. And I'm 'Going Galt Junior' on San Francisco's ass." [Link]
* (On millions in bonds for a Sustainable Financing District) Kind of makes you wonder: Just how sustainable is all this financing? [Link]
Other writers who are sad to see the end of Wachs’ column include BeyondChron’s Paul Hogarth, who wrote, “Benjamin's wit and wisdom, coupled with a deadly sense of humor, put a whole new perspective on the inanities of San Francisco government.” Indeed, while his fans understood his perspective, Wachs’ laser focus on what wrong with City government was often misconstrued as an indictment of liberal ideology. Nothing could be farther from the truth. He was most certainly liberal. Just one whose hopes were dashed by a system that is often unintelligent, inefficient and hypocritical.
Wachs once wrote that the “crippling cynicism that comes from covering government…will likely wear me down until I end my life in a cheap motel room, surrounded by empties, notebooks, and an overdue library copy of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” [Link] That pretty much summed up his frustration.
In order to avoid such a fate, Wachs got out while the getten was good. Even his neighbor, Greg Dewar of the N-Judah Chronicles, agrees with the choice. “While I will miss Benjamin's insight every week, I'm sure he'll be a much happier neighbor not having to cover the insanity that is SF politics.”
Perhaps symbolically, it is only San Francisco politics that Wachs has abandoned – he’ll continue writing about subjects that make him neither suicidal nor homicidal, which includes providing political analysis for other publications in other parts of the country. In fact, his resignation here ends an almost three year streak as perhaps the first writer in history to cover local news on both coasts at once.
Still, I hope he’ll appear again here from time to time. Perhaps as a ghost that only some sassy, Miss Cleo-type can see. “San Francisco, you in danger girl!”
-Melissa
PS: Fans can follow Wachs and see his other writings here.
I'll miss him.
Posted by: generic | February 28, 2010 at 01:21