“Mayor’s question time is this Tuesday,” I mentioned to my friend as I perused the Board of Supervisors agenda for today’s meeting.
“Oh, you mean that thing where Mayor Lee shows up at the board with scripted responses to scripted questions and doesn’t really tell us anything?” my friend said.
“That’s the one!”
In an effort to bring you the honesty that should accompany question time, below are the accurate yet slightly paraphrased questions posed by supervisors this week. I also included the answers that I believe Ed Lee would give if he actually were not interested in a full term as mayor.
Question from Supervisor Mark Farrell: How do you plan to stimulate the local economy?
Answer: Charge supervisors $100 for every piece of legislation they propose. We’re doubling that price for resolutions, Supervisor Mar.
Question from Supervisor Carmen Chu: How do you plan to make sure whomever you hire to be the new executive director of the San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency is not an utter disappointment with a wandering eye like the last one?
Answer: We will require each applicant to have more than a Transportation Merit Badge from the last Boy Scout jamboree. Also, we will have a new rule mandating that the executive director must take Muni to all job interviews while in office.
Question from Supervisor Jane Kim: What will you do to keep gang members from killing each other in my district?
Answer: We plan to institute a “guns for thesauruses” program to encourage young people to attack each other with sly repartee and vicious innuendo, instead of bullets. It worked in Dusseldorf, so we are confident it will work here.
Question from Supervisor Scott Wiener: What will you do about the fact that certain property owners are finding themselves charged with tree maintenance because The City cannot afford to take care of all our trees.
Answer: All people in District 6 need to move to District 8 because there are apparently no problems larger than the potential for tree maintenance. Next question.
Question from Supervisor Malia Cohen: Please give us a status update on the efforts to improve the Third Street corridor.
Answer: We plan to declare the corridor a historic district like we have done with the Tenderloin and Civic Center. This way, instead of “presently blighted,” people will just think of it as “formerly awesome.” Just kidding! We have no plans.
Come on beatiful Melissa! What about a question from Supe Avalos? You left out the comical foil of the BOS.
Posted by: Il Postino | July 12, 2011 at 13:48
IP, the supes take turns asking questions - one month it is even numbered districts, and the next, odd numbered districts. As you can see here, this month is even numbers. Avalos, our D11 Supe will be up to bat next month. Thank you for the note!!
Posted by: Melissa Griffin | July 12, 2011 at 17:13