On Tuesday, California voters determined who will face off in November for key state offices, and San Francisco names had a big day.
Governor
In one corner, we have Republican nominee and Atherton resident Meg Whitman, who has (so far!) spent $71 million of her own money to convince us she’s a fiscal conservative. During her Tuesday speech accepting the Republican nomination, Whitman declared herself the “nightmare” of politicians in Sacramento. I don’t disagree. I feel most sorry for the ones who will have to explain to her the rules governing the state Legislature, including the structural barriers that prevent real reform regardless of who is in charge. Awkward!
In the other corner, we have San Francisco native Jerry Brown acting like someone’s peepaw in running shorts clutching a new vegetable juicer, vowing to live forever and singing, “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet!” (Seriously, Brown played that song at his victory speech last night.) It’s as if Brown wants us to believe that during his four decades in office, he was restraining the beast that is his political genius because he wanted to wait until this moment to show us. “I know I ain’t seen nothin’ yet, baby, baby, baby.”
Lieutenant Governor
Now that Mistermayor has won the Democratic Party primary, his transformation from City Executive to Sitting Alternative is almost complete. All that’s left to do is beat Republican candidate Abel Maldonado in November, which may be difficult.
First of all, independent Hispanic voters choosing between Gavin “The Gay Marriage Guy” Newsom and Maldonado, the son of immigrant Mexican-American farmworkers, may go with the latter.
Second, when candidates for governor have the means, they often send money downstream to their potential lieutenants. In this case, Jerry Brown has about $16 million in the bank. Plus, it was only about five minutes (OK, months) ago that Newsom was running for governor against Brown, attacking Brown for lacking “fire in his belly.” Newsom isn’t likely on Brown’s Christmas card list, much less his “people to give money to” list.
Whitman, on the other hand, prints money on a machine she bought from the government in an eBay auction. Maldonado can out-fundraise Newsom by simply following Whitman around, collecting the $1,000 bills she uses to blot her lipstick.
Attorney General
On Tuesday, San Francisco District Attorney Kamala Harris happily accepted the Democratic Party nomination for state attorney general, while Los Angeles District Attorney Steve Cooley won the Republican Party nod. This one actually promises to be a fun race, and for once in a San Francisco vs. Los Angeles fight, we have the prettier team.
The neat twist to this race is that Cooley presides over a criminal justice system in Los Angeles that reportedly does the things Harris’ office is now in trouble for not doing: checking the backgrounds of public safety employees and telling defendants about the results.
Add the fact that Cooley has been praised by Republican leaders for landing “more death penalty convictions than the entire state of Texas last year,” versus Harris’ steadfast opposition to capital punishment — even for cop killers — and this matchup between antipodes is bound to get ugly.
Luckily, the enjoyment of political slap-fighting is one pleasure not banned in this state — yet.
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